Words.

Thursday. Daniela. Hospital. Fever. 102.9. Seizure. 911. 10 minutes. Paramedics. 104.6. ER. Work up. Possible pneumonia. Subdural hematoma. Transfer. PICU. Fever. 104.6. Antibiotics. Work up. Fever. 103. EEG. Labs. Infection. Waiting. Good nurse. Bad nurse. Waiting.

Subdural hematoma, subacute = approximately one month old injury. Fall? Daycare? MRI. Waiting. Possible small bleed in temporal lobe from seizure. Waiting. Subdural hematoma, nature unknown, location = possible child abuse. Parents? DCFS investigation. Police investigation. MRI--still waiting. Skeletal x-ray series. Waiting. Incomprehensible. Unthinkable. WTF?

Daniela. PICU. Infection. Injury. Insane.

Unfounded. Absurd. Simply unbelievable. Who could think such a thing?

Dante's ninth circle of...

Hell.

Reflections

Lately I've been thinking about my family...or should I say, I've been thinking about the possibility of expanding my family and, well, I'm not too inclined.

At this point in time (10+ months) with Juliana, I suddenly had a bad case of 'baby lust' and thought we should begin trying for #2. Add to that the fact that I wasn't getting any younger (um, I'll be 39 in three months, yikes), and time was of the essence.

Fast forward to today, and D is 10.5 months old, but I definitely don't have that same feeling of baby lust that I had at this point in time with J. Perhaps it's because, with two now, I've realized just how precious my time is when it comes to dividing it between them. Or perhaps it's because I've realized just how hard raising children is and how hard we are on ourselves as moms to make sure that's we're doing it well (notice I didn't say "right" as I don't really think there is such a thing when it comes to raising kids). Or maybe it's because I'm ready for the next/fun part.

I seem to recall something Day might have said about now comes the fun part--something along the lines of now concentrating on raising a family, rather than growing a family.

So, in honor of these deep thoughts I've been having lately, I've begun to give away my baby stuff, giving toys and clothes to others who need them, others still growing their families. I've begun to give away my maternity clothes.

I've begun to let go of the past, the TTC mindset...and have embraced the 'raising part.'

It's lovely here. And I hope each of you still trying soon know this stage firsthand. I think you're gonna like it too.

A D!sney Christmas

Just some more pics I wanted to share from our trip last week. In a strange way, I can't wait until we do it again, it was that much fun.

At the same time, my SIL, who's a regular Disney-goer and belongs to their vacation club, asked when she could bring J alone with her cousins (they typically go every few months) and I think we're close to permitting it. I figure next summer since I think 3 years old is a good age for the parks, plus SIL works in pediatrics and is a kick ass aunt in general so no doubt J will have a good time. And it's true--at least in our house--that kids always behave better for someone else.

But still, I'm looking forward to our next trip with the girls to the land of Mouse...though it will definitely be during the winter--lower temperatures/humidity and Mickey's very merry Xmas party--what more could a toddler (and her parents) ask for?

Oh wait, right, more princesses.

(Speaking of want--what's up with the Wii?! I want to get one for A for Christmas and have been scouring stores for that thing since early November and nada, bupkis, zip. At this rate, looks like it'll be a Valentine's present instead.) Anything you're having trouble finding for a loved one this holiday season?

A royal good time

So much to see, so much to do. Mama's feet hurt from all the walking, and my face hurts from all of the smiling and laughing.

I think it's safe to say that J had a great time on her first trip to D!sney World, especially breakfast at Cinderella's R0yal Table. A and I hadn't been to DW in about 13 or 14 years and seeing it through J's eyes was a wonderful reintroduction to the park, as well as An!mal K!ngdom and MGM.

And now, after so much child-centric fun, A and I are taking a four-day "parents-only" trip to NYC in three weeks. Any of you northeastern readers have any particular restaurant, things to do, etc., recommendations for us? We're staying in Midtown at the Omni Berksh!re but are willing to get out and explore all areas :-)

Oh how I'm looking forward to some adult-sized fun.

(Thank you Bl0gger--for not spacing this entry, or the previous one, despite my numerous attempts to do so.--Sorry, dear reader, for the crowded text!)