/ The RE's Muse: September 2006

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Look at him

To look at him now, at just over 80 pounds, you'd never believe he was once a tiny little thing.

To look at him now, at 11 years old, you'd never guess he was once abused and abandoned early on in his life. He came home with me when he was just over 8 weeks old.

To look at him now, all grizzled with gray on his face and body, you'd never imagine how once he was all black, shiny with just white socks on his feet and a white patch on his chest.

To look at him now, as he lays on the bay window and twitches happily in his sleep, you'd never know how he once ran through the woods, always coming back when called--but usually only after being called repeatedly.

To look at him now, as he sits near me, you'd never know how much he's meant to me over the years, how he let me cry on him when the going got really tough, how he'd just come up next to me and lay his head on my leg or arm when I needed it most.

To look at him now, you'd never know he's got cancer and an aggressive form at that.

To look at me now, you'd know how much he means to me.

Surgery two weeks from tomorrow...prognosis TBD.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Yep, back to boob talk. Missed it, didn't ya?

So today I made the trek to N0rdstr0m's after my peri appt (level II u/s in which all was deemed perfect, 2.0 measuring spot on for gestational dates) to get the wonder twins fitted.

Now I must first begin by telling you that I am not one of those women who can just let it all (or any portion thereof) hang out say, for instance, in a women's locker room or wherever. Oh no. I am way too modest and shy for any of that full frontal displaying. But today, I said screw it. I'll gladly let some sales associate feel me up and stare at my massive chest in google-eyed wonder if that's what she's into so long as I walk out of there with my boobs back up in their rightful position, i.e., pointing forward and up, not downwards.

So, um, yeah, there wasn't any feeling up or google-eyed wonder (darn)...but there was a very nice and accommodating sales girl who measured me, brought a varied selection of bras for me to try on, and was generally a great help. Who'd have known?

And though I walked out of there nearly $250 poorer, my wonder twins are perky, they are upright, they are staring people in the eye rather than looking at my feet. They are, in a word, delicious. I lurve these bras and they're actually semi-stylish, considering they're a 38G. Yes, you read that right...a G (in layman's terms, they tell me that's a 38DDDD, and I started out as a 38D or DD before 2.0).

Now let's all hope the girls don't grow much more during this pg or I'm out some bucks. But damn, you know what? It's worth it...at least, right now. Ask me again when this is over or when my boobs go back to pointing at the floor, whichever comes first.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Deep in thought

Sorry for the radio silence; we've been deep in thought here these past few weeks in the Dee house. The amnio results on BG 2.0 came back completely normal yesterday and did confirm the ultrasound findings that she is indeed a she.

In other news...I got nothing. Hence the radio silence. Things are moving along with 2.0 as I cruise towards the halfway point. Last week I had a freak out when I couldn't find her HB with the doppler and had some random unidentifiable pains. Given my post-amnio status and general terror, I called my OB and mentioned my concerns, whereupon I was told to immediately come on down. So I did, and--of course--the doctor found the HB immediately. Yeah, I felt like a dork, but at least the OB knows I'm a dork who's not taking any chances.

(As an aside, it was Dr. Hot who some of you may recall from my pregnancy with J--every time I saw him last time, I was like a virgin on prom night: my BP shot through the roof and I had to then have all sorts of tests run per him). This time, since I was a last minute fit in appt, I didn't know it would be him I'd be seeing so my BP was fine. But had I known in advance it'd be him, I'm sure I'd have been all flustered (yes, he really is that hot) and then sent to the lab immediately. And for the record, I no longer schedule any of my regular appts with him--haven't since I had J. I learned my lesson last time.

Oh, and my 1 hour glucose screen came back borderline normal so nothing for now. They'll send me back in 6 weeks or so for the 3 hour screen. Should be fun, 'cause I can think of no more enjoyable way to spend a morning than starving hungry, drinking straight glucose, and being repeatedly jabbed by an incompetent and uncaring phlebotomist. Ooh, I'm already looking forward to it.

Back to my regularly scheduled silence. Hope y'all are each doing well :-)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

A mother's intuition

For weeks now, I've sworn up and down that I'm carrying another girl. Everything with this pregnancy has been spot on to that of my pregnancy with J.

At today's amnio appointment, we received confirmation that Juliana is going to be a big sister to a little girl (no, the amnio results didn't come back that quickly--the u/s scan before the amnio clearly showed a little one who had very little modesty when it came to showing off her girly bits).

The amnio itself went well. It was a bit more painful than the one I had with J but still bearable. Now we wait the requisite 10 to 14 days to find out if BG 2.0 (baby girl 2.0) is healthy (knock on wood).

A and I are beyond thrilled at the news of another little lady to love. And love her we already do.

P.S. Thank you for your help with my boob dilemma. I went back and found Julie's post--seems like a trip to the lingerie department at Nordstrom is in my not-too-distant future. Thankfully, it's right across the street from my peri.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


I was flat chested until 9th grade. Then, in the summer break between 9th and 10th grades, something horrible happened, and virtually overnight. The boobs, they grew...and grew, and grew some more. When the school year began, I was an instant hit with the fellas, or should I say, my new 'womanly' boobs were a hit with the fellas. These boobs were the bane of my high school existence.

Fast forward to the college years, and I will admit that on more than one occasion, I wore a ridiculously skimpy top and showed the 'girls' off. It was fun, at the time, to see men make complete and utter fools of themselves. I guess it was a feeling of power, however fleeting and stupid or misguided on my part. The boobs still were giant, but now they had special powers it seemed.

Fast forward to 2004 and 2005 when I was pregnant with J. My boobs remained their formidable selves, maintaining their ridiculous size, up until when I breastfed. But then, I only went up one bra size from my usual. Once I took off the baby weight (with the exception of a pesky 7 lbs.), they went back down to their usual rank and serial number.

Fast forward to now. My breasts are simply immense. They have outgrown all but one bra I own. They are so much bigger now that they weigh down the bra--meaning that the boobs have little support (even with the underwire) so they're hanging low like ripe fruit, while the band around my back rides up high between my shoulder blades from the weight of the girls up front. Ridiculous. I look ridiculous. In fact, many of my maternity shirts are gaping at the chest from the sheer girth of the girls. The boobs make me look even heavier than I actually am (and always have).

And the boob skin itself--oh how it itches these days! I know that's because they're growing--but really, how much bigger can they get? Nowadays I've been putting lotion and this special "Mother's Blend 0il" from the health food store on them (which makes them smell like cookies since it's all natural pecan and coconut oils, etc.) which gives me some relief from the itching...but still, what to do about the boobs themselves and my bra predicament?

Can anyone recommend some place that will measure me accurately and that may carry bras--maternity or otherwise--in giantess sizes? Short of lopping these giant bazongas off (so NOT an option, regardless of if I'm pg or otherwise), I'm out of ideas...and I'm really not happy with how they look these days while I'm dressed.


(P.S. Amnio tomorrow morning--quaking over here. Oh, and today I got to do a lovely glucose screen for GD, results should be in by Friday--and whoever decided to call that stuff I drank today "lemon-lime," you've done a disservice to lemon-lime drinks the world over.)

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