/ The RE's Muse: October 2005

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Back in business

Wilma came, she saw, she kicked the ever lovin' shit out of the area, and left. A pleasure to see her go, that's for sure.

Luckily for the Dee family, we're on some good power grid I tell ya and we managed to get power back on Tuesday (!) morning, a little over 24 hours after Wilma roared through our end of the county. Phone service and DSL (hallelujah!) were restored today. But we are the exception, not the rule--case in point, the homes right behind us are still without power and the sound of numerous generators punctuate the air. Those in the counties to our south and west are dealing with power, phone, food, water and other woes on a much larger scale than we are here.

We've got weeks' worth of work in store for us in cleaning up our acre and a quarter. We have also temporarily postponed Miss J's baptism, which was to take place this coming Sunday. The church is down in Broward county, which took a heavier beating than we did here. I just figured it made sense to reschedule, especially since all of our family and friends live down there and are dealing with no electricity and having to clean up or repair their homes, etc. So it's just better that we do it at a later date, most likely in December--post-hurricane season (exactly the reason why A and I got married on Nov. 30th--the last day of it).

And Miss J's daycare is without power which means that I'm staying home with her temporarily. Thankfully, my work is okay with me working from home for the time being (and, with only half a tank of gas in my car right now, I'm not driving anywhere since there currently are 2 hour + lines for gasoline at local stations).

It's kind of nice to be back at home with J again though she now requires much more 'entertainment' than she did back in months one through three (this means I'm doing my work late in the evening hours). But sister does love her some exersaucer and some baby bjorn time while we clean the yard with daddy before dinner. And she loves to blow raspberries--something I never tire of listening or responding with my own to. She laughs now...the most beautiful sound my ears have ever heard.

I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am that the hurricane spared our family of three any real devastation. With Miss J in my life now, I think I know what it's like to be willing to give up your life for someone else in a time of danger. And I also know that if a category 4 or 5 storm heads our way, we're getting the hell out of dodge...pronto.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Hurricane hiatus

I guess there could be stranger things than hurricanes taking aim at us this late in the season (it ends Nov. 30th--but Oct. and Nov. are typically slow for storms) but alas, this is the reailty I find my little family in. So I'll be signing off temporarily. There are important papers to pack, baby goods to pack, dog things to pack, and yet more to pack (oh the things you pack when you're facing the possibility of no electricity and having to amuse a four-month old).

A will board up the house tomorrow and we're off to stay with friends a few miles from us who live in a concrete block house--infinitely safer than our wood frame abode. We can only hope for minimal restrengthening of Wilma once she's back over the gulf...and a house that's hopefully still standing when we return to her.

I hope to be back online soon...please think good thoughts for us down here in south Florida, we can use them. So until I'm back, I leave you with a photo of the happy queen, taken about 6 weeks ago--she's changed a lot since then but I've been too busy to download the current batch of pictures on the digital camera. Until next time...be well.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Cough, hack, wheeze....

Apparently, while A and I weren't looking, our 12 lbs., 5 oz. gal took up smoking ("whoo-hoo, happy 17 week birthday to me!"). And judging by all of the hacking and wheezing she's doing, she must be up to a two-pack-a-day habit by now. We wonder where she picked it up from as A and I are both non-smokers.

Friday we had her 4-month appt. where she was weighed, measured, and shot. Our gal continues to be petite--ranking just under 50% for weight, 25% for height, and a measly 5% for head circumference. Yeah, so it appears we've got a small-headed elf baby who chain smokes living with us. She got four shots on Friday, all of which combined to make her cranky for the rest of the day and into Saturday. That--combined with her 'birthday' celebration must have been the impetus for her to take up the smoking--that or she's trying to keep her weight down. Bravo, I say, bravo.

So Saturday we noticed le bebe's cough, which had lingered from the slight cold she had a few weeks back, had turned into a loud barking full of phlegm or so it sounded like because--hey, babies don't really hack that crap out like we do so we never got to see any goop actually exit. But she was her agreeable happy self and the fever from the shots had abated so we thought nothing more of it. She was slightly congested so I broke out the sucker Saturday morning since she was having a hard time drinking a bottle while trying to breathe through a clogged nose (geez, what a baby!). What little that came out was blood-tinged (much like what has been coming out of my nose for the past week) but she could breathe a little clearer so it appeared all was getting better. Until the smoking really wrought havoc on her lungs, that is.

At some point late yesterday, that cough got more and more mucousy sounding and hacking (damn unfiltered camels--why did she not go with something more girly?!). And last night, the breathing, it became quite wheezy. All of this combined to buy someone a ticket home from the germ factory--oops, I mean daycare--today (apparently her evil plot worked) and a 10:40 trip to the ped with daddy. So we wait to see what the good dr. has to say...my guess is he'll prescribe a round of antibiotics--or at the very least, suggest that she switch to the patch. Until then, I'd better have A (since he's home with her today) scour her room for the contraband cigs.

P.S. Um, does anyone have any idea when babies discover their feet? 'Cause, man, my girl she loves her some hands but ain't so into the feet.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Scab picking

In talking with my best friend yesterday--whose SIL is in the early weeks of pg with #2--she divulged that the SIL's pg was an 'oops.' It seems that the SIL and her husband had merely been talking about whether or not they wanted a second child as they have it pretty easy with baby #1 (who is a year old) and have gotten things down to a good routine/schedule with her. They weren't sure they wanted a second child and then...bam. Apparently, if you're an uber-fertile SIL all you need to do is miscalculate your cycle days and bam...pg. So I guess their decision has been made for them. There will be a second child in their family.

This reopened my infertility wound and got me to thinking once again about the unfairness of IF and whether or not there will be a second child in our family. If we want to even try, we'd need to do it fairly soon 'cause, at 36 (and with a borderline FSH of 8 point something at last check), I ain't getting any younger (please know that I'm not crapping on being an infertile over a certain age--infertility, as we know firsthand, strikes without prejudice--young, old, black, white, male, female--you get the drift). But for me, my age is a consideration as is my FSH. And then of course there's the CAH (my regular endocrinologist--not an RE--recently took me off my low-dose steroid--meaning it's unlikely that I'll ovulate on my own going forward once my androgen level rises back to its abnormally high levels. He said if I'm not trying to get pg, I shouldn't be on the steroid).

So if A and I decided we wanted to try for a second child, we'd need to get back up on the horse and soon. This scares me as I don't think I can go through the trying and its transient hope and heartache all over again. But, on the other hand, if we were to try again and luckily succeed, I think I'd be overwhelmed with two small children fairly close in age. And then I think to myself that I wouldn't want to take more attention than necessary away from Juliana. We waited almost five years to have her. I want to enjoy her and celebrate every one of her many milestones to come for a good long while without any thing or anyone else (except for A) competing for my time and attention. Not only that, but I come from a long line of only children myself so I'm pretty content with one (A is one of three and long had hopes for us to have two children one day).

So the idea of having a second child...it's there, vaguely tickling the back of my mind. With so many friends still dealing with IF and building their families, I feel slightly gluttonous in even contemplating the idea of having a second child when so many are still hoping for their first. And it makes me kind of sad that most--if not all--of us have never been one of those women who can get so lucky and have the decision made for her by an 'oops' baby. There won't be any children conceived that way in my house. Heck, there may not be any more children conceived in my future at all...and sooner rather than later, A and I need to decide if that will indeed be the case.

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