Whattaboob!

I was flat chested until 9th grade. Then, in the summer break between 9th and 10th grades, something horrible happened, and virtually overnight. The boobs, they grew...and grew, and grew some more. When the school year began, I was an instant hit with the fellas, or should I say, my new 'womanly' boobs were a hit with the fellas. These boobs were the bane of my high school existence.

Fast forward to the college years, and I will admit that on more than one occasion, I wore a ridiculously skimpy top and showed the 'girls' off. It was fun, at the time, to see men make complete and utter fools of themselves. I guess it was a feeling of power, however fleeting and stupid or misguided on my part. The boobs still were giant, but now they had special powers it seemed.

Fast forward to 2004 and 2005 when I was pregnant with J. My boobs remained their formidable selves, maintaining their ridiculous size, up until when I breastfed. But then, I only went up one bra size from my usual. Once I took off the baby weight (with the exception of a pesky 7 lbs.), they went back down to their usual rank and serial number.

Fast forward to now. My breasts are simply immense. They have outgrown all but one bra I own. They are so much bigger now that they weigh down the bra--meaning that the boobs have little support (even with the underwire) so they're hanging low like ripe fruit, while the band around my back rides up high between my shoulder blades from the weight of the girls up front. Ridiculous. I look ridiculous. In fact, many of my maternity shirts are gaping at the chest from the sheer girth of the girls. The boobs make me look even heavier than I actually am (and always have).

And the boob skin itself--oh how it itches these days! I know that's because they're growing--but really, how much bigger can they get? Nowadays I've been putting lotion and this special "Mother's Blend 0il" from the health food store on them (which makes them smell like cookies since it's all natural pecan and coconut oils, etc.) which gives me some relief from the itching...but still, what to do about the boobs themselves and my bra predicament?

Can anyone recommend some place that will measure me accurately and that may carry bras--maternity or otherwise--in giantess sizes? Short of lopping these giant bazongas off (so NOT an option, regardless of if I'm pg or otherwise), I'm out of ideas...and I'm really not happy with how they look these days while I'm dressed.

Help....please?

(P.S. Amnio tomorrow morning--quaking over here. Oh, and today I got to do a lovely glucose screen for GD, results should be in by Friday--and whoever decided to call that stuff I drank today "lemon-lime," you've done a disservice to lemon-lime drinks the world over.)