Ho-hum

Nothing much going on around the Dee house these days and that's just fine by me (not even any puking, Toni--but I'm/we're sending lots of good wishes for your embies!). Nausea comes and goes but it's never for very long and I've managed to not retch yet (knock on wood). I've been tired but feeling good for the most part. Most days it's a struggle just to keep my eyes open until 9 p.m. and I'm still exhausted when my alarm goes off around 5:15 a.m.

The diabetic diet thing is going okay it seems. I'm still somewhat of a spaz when it comes to the finger pricking to check my blood sugar level but I imagine, like most everything else, I'll get better with time (kind of like sex or bicycle riding). So far my levels have been pretty steady. Tomorrow I fax my first set of recordings to the peri's office, then I move on to faxing them twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) starting next week.

I'm coming up on 11 weeks Friday, meaning my former embryo is now officially a fetus (and since Florida is a southern state--though not truly 'southern'--does that mean I should change the fetus's nickname from 'himorshe' to Cletus?). BTW, yes, I am a dork, thank you for noticing.

My next OB appt is this coming Monday. I'm really hoping I'll get an ultrasound--in fact, I think I'm going to request one if it's not on the plan for that day. I'm hoping that if I remind them that I'm an IF patient, with a history of mc, maybe they'll take pity on me--but I'm also not above pitching a meltdown crying spell to see if that will work--is that wrong? If it doesn't work, hell--I'll offer to pay for it out of pocket--merry Xmas to me. It'd be money well spent so far as I see it: peace of mind is worth a lot to me these days though I haven't been having too many DBTs* recentlly.

Hell, lately A and I have even started tossing name ideas around (I won't bore you with the frontrunning choices--okay, since you asked, Juliana for a girl, Matthew, David, or Jack for a boy). As you can see, we're not exactly the most creative couple around...but please do feel free to share your favorites if you're so inclined (I promise not to steal, unless you're receptive to sharing). Don't get me wrong, I'm not counting my fetus before it's born. The fear is still there but it lets up just the teensiest bit with each day that dawns anew and I'm still pg. While the fear will probably never totally go away, perhaps it's nagging voice will get quieter as time passes...we'll see. Maybe Hope can do some good and tell that bitch Fear to pack her shit and get out, even though something tells me Fear's claiming squatter's rights and intends on sticking around these parts for a long time to come.

(*DBTs = dead baby thoughts)