Will not panic...will not panic....

Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and headed to the bathroom for my first pee of the day. It was dark, almost orange, but the tissue was clear when I wiped. But wait...what's that I saw in the bowl? A miniscule speck of tissue, red, with a tiny streak of blood radiating off it into the water. No blood on the paper when I wiped though so I chalked it off. Got dressed, headed down to Miami for a beauty day with a dear girlfriend. During the hour and fifteen minute drive to meet her, I had some mild cramping but thought nothing of it as that's been happening here and there.

After we meet up, we stop for breakfast at a Cuban bakery. As I'm standing at the counter, I feel discharge and don't have a good feeling about it. I go to the bathroom and pee and see nothing but yellow pee in the bowl. But then I wiped and saw it: Bright red blood.

I call Dr. Rub's backline from my cell and while I'm on hold, my call waiting beeps in--it's Dr. Rub's nurse. She tells me to lie down, take it easy, drink lots of fluids. And keep my appointment with them for Wednesday. If something is going to happen, it's going to happen.

So I take it easy. I lay around on my ass all day long. I drink so much water I'm pretty much peeing every 15-30 minutes. And the bright red blood turns to brown. It was never in the bowl when I went pee, it was only on the paper when I wiped afterwards. There were never any
clots, no tissue (outside of that teeny piece first thing in the morning) and the mild cramping eventually slowed and then disappeared altogether.

I'm still having brown spotting on the paper when I wipe today but there has been no more bright red since that first occurrence (knock on wood, cross my fingers, and all that jazz).

As you can imagine, I'm terrified. If I thought I was scared before...well, now it's amped up to a whole new level. How can I last 'til Wednesday's u/s to find out if all is still well in there? Now I'm definitely expecting only the worst news at that visit. Try as I might, I really wanted to go into it with some shred of optimism but now there's none.

I've read and heard so much about what this bleeding can be--implantation (perhaps it's so comfy in there it opted to burrow in a little deeper?), a subchorionic hemorrhage, the placenta can nick a capillary/vein/etc. when it begins to form, an inflamed cervix, dehydration, etc. Dehydration does seems like a very real possibility. A and I had the world's saltiest dinner at a local Thai restaurant Friday night and when we got back home, I was parched. So parched, in fact, I knocked back a record amount of water before going to bed. But, alas, I never had to wake up in the middle of the night to pee all that water out. Plus my pee was so dark yesterday morning, the first pee after Friday night's dinner. Last night I didn't wake up in the middle of the night to pee either and this morning's first pee was orange as well. Perhaps I should set my alarm to wake me up midway each night and make myself go pee. All last week I had been waking up on my own in the middle of the night to pee most nights. But the last few, no going.

So maybe the bleeding is nothing major. But all I can think is impending miscarriage. Help me make it through 'til Wednesday's u/s; that's all I want right now. To just make it until then.