New mom with no clue

Okay, so I've been rethinking the Babywise thing. I do appreciate the feedback you've given me on it. I know it works for some people and not for others. And I understand that I need to be on her schedule not her on mine so for now, I'll just do what I can, no Babywise or other 'system' in mind. And I do think she's starting to now have a schedule per se. Typically, she seems to wake every three hours or so, four on a rare night. Some times though, she goes longer, sometimes shorter.

What has been particularly hard is that some days, she'll really have the latching/breastfeeding thing down pat; she'll get right on with a good 'deep' latch. Other times she'll just grasp the nipple. Then when I try to reposition her, she'll fight me, turning her head away, using her little arms like pinwheels to forcibly push away from me and the breast. It breaks my heart. Last night was one of those nights.

We met with a lactation consultant last week and she evaluated our positioning, etc., and declared that everything was right on track and looked good. So why do I feel like Juliana and I have back slid since then?

The other thing that's been particularly hard to deal with is waking her up. Man, does this girl like to get her sleep on. It's a struggle to get her awake. We undress her, change her, bathe her (except in the middle of the night when we try to keep those feedings as low key as possible so she'll go back to sleep when done).

Now mind you, as A likes to tell me, she was born three weeks early and she was very small so she is probably is making up for lost sleep (or maybe needs more rest as a result, etc., something along those lines). My SIL suggested lightly flicking her feet (something she had to do to wake her own daughter up) but not even that seems to work.

Since Juliana likes to sleep, she is typically only getting 7 feedings a day (one about every 3 1/2 hours) instead of the 8 to 10 recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and everything else I've been reading. And her feedings go anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes per breast (that's if I can keep her awake on there long enough to even get to the other breast when finished with one). It's the fivers that worry me, is she getting enough to eat? Is she gaining weight (at her 13 day visit, she was 2 oz. shy of her birth weight so we go back this Friday to see if she's regained it all)?

Is this working? I just don't know. Every step I take with her is tinged with worry and anxiety. She has plenty of wet diapers (with clear to light yellow pee) as I'm tracking those--anywhere from 5 to 8 a day--and her poops are good too (3 to 6 a day, sometimes more, sometimes less). Going on these cues, A says she is getting enough to eat, that 7 feedings seems to work for her. But I just don't know. It's not what the "experts" recommend. And since I'm no expert, nor do I ever imagine I will be, how do I know for sure? Sigh...will I ever get the hang of this?

(Moxie--thank you for suggesting I contact LLL--A's been saying the same thing. I probably will do it--and soon--but taking that first step is hard.)