/ The RE's Muse: Baby wise and mom wise

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Baby wise and mom wise

Some say it's never too early to start putting your baby on a schedule and, with that premise in mind, A and I are slowly but surely embarking on the "Baby Wise" method upon the advice of several friends--one of whom has a breastfed 12 week old who has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks courtesy of Baby Wise methodology.

Tonight was the inaugural start of some of the methods and we'll see what happens. I know sleep deprivation is to be expected in the early months but after two good nights of rest followed by one crappy night last night, I'm hoping for the best but expecting alternating nights of good and bad as has been the case thus far. Everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps but really--the reality is, it's not quite so easy--at least not for me. My body knows the difference between day and night and isn't keen on the daytime sleeping--damn that whole circadian rhythm thing. There are times during the day where I'm so tired I'm literally nodding off on the couch or wherever but when I go lay down in the bed, boom, wide awake. Weird. Maybe one day I'll be able to nap when Julian naps but for now, I take sleep when I can get it, typically during the night and usually for no more than a few hours at a time. Slowly it's becoming more bearable and I can actually function for the most part during the day.

Juliana and I are slowly getting to know one another. I know that sounds weird since I'm her mama and she's "known" me since she was capable of hearing my voice while in the womb but it's still a learning process of sorts once they're here in person. I'm still slightly afraid I may break her and I'm still afraid to give her a bath (that's Daddy's territory) but the time will soon come. I've never really been around babies (not even as a babysitter when I was younger) so I'm slowly getting comfortable with this divine little person.

I cancelled today's appt with the OB to discuss whether or not I may have PPD. I did this because the past few days, I felt the veil of sadness lift and I have actually gone the past couple of days without any crying at all. Perhaps it was just hormones settling back down or the baby blues, whatever you want to call it.

I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my role as mom and realizing that I am capable of loving and caring for Juliana 110%. I truly do appreciate the comments you made to my previous post on this, telling me that it's normal to question your abilities and to feel this way. How I needed to know that! I guess it's just such a complete lifestyle change, unlike anything in my 36 years, that comprehending the scope of it is too much to take in at once. Now that she'll be--ohmigosh--two weeks old tomorrow!--I'm realizing that I can do this. But if I start to feel down again and like something's just not right, I'll quickly reschedule that appt to discuss PPD. For now, though, I continue to be astounded by the amount of love I can feel for this one little person. She is, in my very biased opinion, scrumptious.


At 11:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your baby.

Have you read Perpetually Pregnant's post on Babywise?

At 1:05 AM, Anonymous Julianna said...

She is absolutely beautiful! Sending my best wishes to your wonderful family.

At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Lily said...

She's adorable.

I second the link above- and I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate to give advice to you when my baby isn't even born yet, but only because I consider you a friend and if I were you I'd want you to tell me if a book had advisories against it set by the American Medical Association, which Babywise does. But she's your baby, you do what you think is right, of course, I don't mean to criticize you.

At 9:46 PM, Anonymous Day said...

I have nothing to add on Babywise, but did want to share my belated awe over the beauty of your baby. Congrats ~ you are always in my thoughts and I wish you smooth mommy sailing ahead!
(HUGS!) and congrats again!

At 11:10 PM, Blogger chris said...

Very cute baby.

Babywise? A little scary.

At 12:55 PM, Blogger Moxie said...

Hi Dee. I just saw your post over at Menita's indicating your problems with latching. They may be exacerbated by the Babywise thing. You need to be absolutely feeding on demand, not scheduling at all.

Please get hooked up with a local LLL group. They'll be a big help with the feeding, and will be able to help give you some support on finding a good routine without doing the Babywise thing that's hurting your breastfeeding relationship.

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Toni said...

She's beautiful...absolute beautiful.

Agree with the demand thing...much easier to get the bf thing down. :)

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Lala said...

Darling Dee: As usual I'm late to the part but a big screaming congratultaions!!!!
Beautiful photos, beautiful girl!
I'm so happy for you.

At 8:40 PM, Blogger Nina said...

Oh, she is just gorgeous. Congratulations Dee!!

At 10:50 AM, Blogger kristen said...

Your daughter is adorable!

A daily routine is very important to children, but I found it near impossible to begin until my daughter has switched from three naps to two and was actually regular enough on her own to have a routine. At that time, I had a good idea of what her routine ought to be from watching her for the last four or five months. All babies are different. I have a very good friend who has three children. One never napped longer than 45 minutes (and was down to two naps a day at 5 months). She wasn't tired, she didn't need more sleep, so her mother just got her out of her crib when she woke. She is now a godly, lovely married woman who is almost finished with her doctorate and anxious to have kids of her own. Her next was a more typical napper, about 60-90 minutes. He also never rebelled, is a godly man who married a lovely woman and works very hard for his family. Their youngest is still in high school. He took two 3 hour naps a day and basically slept all the time, even as a toddler. He still likes to sleep, but he is a very accomplished student and athlete and a great guy to be around. She told me never to believe any magic routine or schedule because all babies are different and need different things. If she had done Eat-Play-Sleep, it might have worked with one of hers, but not the rest, they weren't wired for it. The key is to know YOUR baby.

On sleeping through the night: I know that it's hard to not sleep like you did pre-baby, but the reality is that the vast majority of babies don't sleep through the night the first year, for a variety of medical reasons (hunger and teething being the top two). My completely demand fed and anti-Ezzo-ed baby started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks or so. She slept great until 6 months and then never slept as well again until she hit a year because of teething. I knew she was in pain and needed me (it was obvious, she has a "teething cry" and would grab her gums), so I got myself up out of bed however many times she required. She started sleeping through the night after her first four teeth came in, and continues to sleep really well even as some new teeth descend.

Gary Ezzo is a very scary guy who is excommunicated from an evangelical church and has no medical background whatsoever. I know godly people who have used Babywise, some successfully and others to the detriment of their babies (failure to thrive, losing their milk, etc.) It's a gamble, but it's your decision to make.

At 9:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I stumbled on your blog about baby wise while I was searching the web. I used baby wise with all three of my children and it worked great for me. It helped me excape the PPD feeling and feel confident with beeing a mom and enjoying my baby. It was also a comfort when leaving them with others. I do agree that you cannot be leagalisted with it esp with my experience after 3. The way I approached it definitely change from baby to baby. But it worked great with all of mine different personalities and all. It is possible for all your children to sleep through the night by 8-10 wks of age. My children are now 10,7, and 3yrs. Gods rich blessings on you on your 2nd child.

At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful baby. Go to ezzoinfo on the web before you start Babywise! It "worked" for me and I was a first time mom too. My baby slept through the night at 6 weeks. I quit Babywise when I noticed my baby was avoiding eye contact which can be a sign of attachment disorder. The doctor told me it was because I wasn't responding to her. Newborns need to be fed more often sometimes than what a book written by a non-doctor might say. So trust your instincts. I'm glad I did.


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