/ The RE's Muse: Stereotypical bs

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Stereotypical bs

Okay, I'll admit it. I have a guilty pleasure -- ah, hell, what infertile doesn't have one or many? But mine involves the mindless show that is Nip/Tuck.

Well, last night's episode found Julia (wife of Dr. McNamara--from whom she is currently separated) going under the knife to fix the facial cuts she suffered blah blah blah. While under anesthesia, she has an 'alternative' life experience to the the tune of what her life would have been like had she not dropped out of med school and had she married Dr. McNamara's partner, Dr. Troy, whom she's had the hots for since college.

In the midst of this 'dream' sequence, she asks her life coach (who's leading her ride through life B) why she and Christian (Dr. Troy) never had children. She's told that this has happened because, basically, she chose herself and her career over family. Her reply to this news was (and I think I'm recalling this correctly), "Great, now I've become one of those cliched barren women forced to go the IVF route." This...made...my...blood...boil.

This show just bought in to the old stupid adage that women who choose to have careers, to finish their education, and so on, are being 'punished' somehow for those decisions. What the f*ck? Where does this bullshit come from? No one asks to be given infertility, and it doesn't just affect career women who've waited to start building their families. ARGGHHH, I could scream at this unfair, unrealistic, one-sided portrayal.

The show then went on to show Julia at a 'reproductive specialist's' office (or some other such vague clinical title--seriously, couldn't they have gone with RE if they wanted to be technical and, thereby, accurate) getting hormone/fertility shots. A few other times during the episode, Julia made comments to the effect that she had to go get hormone shots--a completely inaccurate portrayal of the IVF process because, realistically, she and/or her partner should be capable of giving her her own hormone shots during the cycle (and she's supposed to be a doctor in this alternative life sequence?).

I am so incensed by this stereotypical portrayal of infertile women. It is this bullshit that shapes how the general (read unknowledgeable) public perceives infertility and infertile couples. Essentially, we're to blame; we're being 'punished' somehow for our decisions. Maybe it's a little extreme but I'm so pissed that I'm thinking about writing the producers (Warner Bros. Studios) or the network (FX) and letting them know how unfair and inaccurate their portrayal was. Even if you don't watch the show, I encourage you to consider doing the same. I know it's not much, but...damn. I'll get off my soapbox now.

And I think I'm done watching the show. Time to find another guilty pleasure.... Any suggestions?


At 8:39 PM, Blogger Toni said...

I watched the show today while my daughter took a nap (I have TIVO - lovely invention).

I have to admit that I didn't take that away from the show. But now that you mention it - it is cold. But the whole show kind of bases itself on being cold. Think about it - these people come in and they ask them "What do you hate about yourself" (okay, not exactly words). What a nice way to introduce yourself. :)

But going back to the topic - I found it interesting the comments they made about waiting vs non waiting. I'm 27. I don't think I 'waited' to have children. And yet, here I am going to the RE's office. And some women - they're 50 and having children like it's picking apples.

Maybe next week they'll kill someone off...or get Christian to date the blind girl (remember her from 90210? She was Toni too :) ). Glad to see that someone else has my 'guilty pleasure'.

PS Thanks again for the info on the IUI. Makes me feel a lot better about the decision!

At 8:57 PM, Blogger Jen P said...

I love Nip Tuck. We're a season behind and just finished the first about 6 weeks ago and are waiting with baited breath for season 2 to start. I'm already boiling. I love Nip Tuck!!

Infertility is no more a curse or a punishment than having blue eyes or red hair is. It's genetic and it sucks. Grrrrr. I must admit, though, that I've taken to the OC with wild abandon. It's embarassing but being a drama queen, I find myself in my element watching it.

At 12:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's unrealistic perceptions like this that make it difficult for us to get the right treatment and have it paid for by insurance. It also is what gives fuel to the ignorant and why they can't understand just how devastating infertility is. It's not just simply a diagnosis and you go and get it 'fixed', it's just not that simple. There is a real, devastating emotional aspect to this that is continually ignored because of crap like this.


At 11:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. I love the Inspector Morse series but got completely turned off by it a couple of weeks ago when they had two episodes, back to back, where the murderer was a frustrated infertile woman. Described in those terms, and worse. As if being IF means you are also some kind of monster.


At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, lets see, guilty pleasures. You have Big Brother, which is almost over, and then you have Survivor which starts next Thursday. THose are my guilty pleasures. :)


P.S. Glad you got throught the hurricane ok. I still have to respond to your e-mail, comment, I haven't forgotten about you, really. I'm just really really bad at responding right now. SOrry, so sorry.

At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am one of those freaks that still likes Survivor, even though it is down to a type-cast formula. I also like Trump's show, which starts tonight.

the middle way

At 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


And you stay on that soapbox, girl.

JenH (vintageuterus)


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