/ The RE's Muse: Today's thanks goes to Benjamin Franklin

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Today's thanks goes to Benjamin Franklin

To the genius who harnessed electricity--thank you, Ben for your incomparable discovery. And I'd also like to give a big thank you shout out to the good people at Florida Power & Light who somehow managed to get power to our block (note that we are the only block in the area with power so I'm sure the folks on either street to our sides hate our guts right about now). At the same time, though I am home, bored silly 'cause my work is still without power and, therefore, closed. I hope we get paid for the time off 'cause we personally helped up Home Depot stock prices last week and that AMEX bill's gotta get paid somehow.

Today I waited an hour-and-a-half to get gasoline. Yep, you read that right, an hour-and-a-half. Made all the longer by the fact that I did not have anything with me in the car to read. It was a pretty long time but I made it pass by people watching, a favorite pasttime. Interesting to note that there weren't many kids and no babies, especially interesting since school has been cancelled here until next week.

On the positive side, I used the at home time today to surf the 'net and managed to find a therapist who specializes in infertility--no small miracle--in my county through the directory over at ASRM.org (I'd link it here but left my linking instructions at the office and I'm too much a bloggin' newbie to muster the task on my own). Miracle of miracles on top of that, she's actually on my insurance plan. Add a third miracle to the mix--I called her and she, OHMIGOSH, answered her own phone and--hold your breath for this big one--actually has an appointment open for tomorrow since someone in more dire geographical straits than myself had to cancel. Her loss is my gain. She sounded nice and I'm excited to meet her tomorrow at 2 p.m. I'm hoping she can help me get to feeling like myself soon but I think that's slowly beginning to take shape on its own too.

For one, I'm really looking forward to next week's RE appt and finding out how long we break for until we get back on the ART road. Also, I've recently noticed I have breakthrough moments of hope, like sun rays coming through the clouds, and it's a small celebration when they come. But I also have crashing lows. For instance, after the hurricane had (FINALLY) left us, hubby lost the keys to my car. We were at the friends' house with all those kids in attendance and I broke (luckily outside away from everyone), began to cry, to panic, over the fact that my keys were gone and we'd have to stay there any longer. DH (= dumbass husband) had put the keys in my purse without telling me. Crisis averted, departure possible, fertiles left behind, sanity salvaged...for now.

I wish I had something witty or clever to post more often. A lot of folks (good people, fools, idiots, or some combination thereof) tell me I'm a funny gal. One friend, a stand-up comedienne, suggested I look into doing stand-up myself. But IF has made me bitter, taken away my funny edge; now I'm just sarcastic and caustic. I hope if I have kids (biological or adopted) I manage to regain my sense of humor...I hear tell it that kids are actually pretty funny--intentionally or, more often, not. Maybe keeping their company on a daily basis one day will rekindle that humor in me. Until then, I'll try to find it but can't make any promises. But damn, I miss it. Just when the hell did I stop laughing so much?


At 9:04 PM, Blogger Jen P said...

Amen to the power and to the therapist having an opening. Music to my ears! Glad you got away to salvage the remainders of hurricaine induced insanity. I too hope you get paid and things look good when speaking with the RE. And really, bitterness is a great medium for comedy. Hope you're doing ok and things go well tomorrow.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I know you're still having an awfully hard time, but I'm glad to see that a few things, at least, have started going right for you. Maybe this is the beginning of a change in luck? Let's hope so.

Also, I wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog today. I truly laughed out loud. Now, how can you say you're not funny anymore?


At 11:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you found the therapist and that she can see you so soon. So glad.

At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fate or coincedence about the therapist? Either way, I'm glad you found someone. I have found it helpful in the past to talk to someone outside my inner circle.

the middle way


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