Don't speak it

I've long been one of those people who won't say something potentially bad out loud because, after saying it, it usually happens, i.e., "It's been a long time since I've gotten a speeding ticket." Then voila! sometime soon after (minutes, days, whatever), bam, I get a speeding ticket. Note I didn't get a speeding ticket recently--I'm just giving you an example of the freakish craziness that goes on in my brain at times.

So now it seems that Miss Juliana is--dare I say it?--on a fairly consistent 3-hour schedule. And I mean, damn close to three hours straight up on the clock. She eats around 8 and 11 a.m., then at 2 and 5 p.m., and then again at 8 and 11 p.m., 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. For the most part, after the night time feeds, she goes right back to sleep (hallelujah!)--especially since we swaddle that girl like she was a criminal intent on breaking out of Alcatraz. She usually also goes back to sleep for a bit after her 8 a.m. meal. Both 11 a.m., 2 and 5 p.m. find her up for a while after eating and we engage in some play time (okay, so how much "playing" does a 6 week old do? and by playing I mean tummy or back time on the Baby Einstein mat). She then chills in the swing (oh how I love that Oce*n W*nders swing!) before a nice leisurely nap. And she's also pretty good about napping after the 8 p.m. meal as well.

Well, of course, now that I've written this, I bet the whole thing goes to pot. I mean, it's been good for several days now so I feel confident calling it a schedule but...it could all implode in my face just..like..that.

I'm also a slacker in that I hung up my boobs--yep, weaned her and I do believe that the milk machine is now dry. Feeding her formula seems to have helped me reclaim myself...and a bit more precious sleep. Typically, I take the 11 p.m. feed, then A takes the 2 a.m., and I then take the 5 a.m. (allowing me at least 4 hours if not more--sweet j-sus--of uninterrupted shut eye). It's not perfect nor does it work every night but man, is it nice to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Okay, so it's a long tunnel and the light's usually a coming train but it's still nice. So, yes, I'm a bad mother who's selfishly stopped breastfeeding but really...a happier mommy equals a happier baby, and a saner mommy probably equals a saner baby too. In fact, I can honestly say that I feel more bonded to her now that we're bottle feeding. We look each other in the eyes and she responds to my voice. It's lovely, truly. We didn't have that with the breast feeding. Instead she just stared off into space or at the monster boob itself.

And now that I've spoken of the 3-hour schedule, let's see how tonight goes.