/ The RE's Muse: Getting my groove on

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Getting my groove on

At the risk of embarrassing myself by admitting this ('cause I'm demure and ladylike, guffaw!), I've just got to tell you about what happened to me last night.

I don't know what time it was because I keep the clock covered (too much light even on the lowest setting) but I woke up just as I had a -- brace yourself -- orgasm in my sleep! Whoa nelly! Stop the presses--dang, just when I was beginning to think I had forgotten what they felt like. No, not that I don't have them; it's more like A and I aren't having any "conjugal relations" these days. Okay, in all honesty, we haven't had any good ole' fashioned lovin' since we conceived himorshe (and yes, for those of you playing along at home, that means we haven't done the deed since October). To say that A is dying would be an understatement though he is being a real trooper (though I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to get it on with my currently rashy, hairy-legged self).

Sometimes (but not very often) I want to get back up on that horse (no pun intended) but I'm terrified that it might do something that would put this pg at risk. Okay, so I did ask the peri at last week's visit if we could resume intercourse (had to voice it in clinical-speak, after all) which was the reason she sent me back for the unexpected ultrasound (that and the fact that I had that week-long spotting episode at 5w). It showed a nice long, closed cervix, no evidence of anything wrong, and clearance was given. I next see the OB this coming Monday and may ask him as well, just to cover all my bases--plus, maybe I'll get another bonus u/s for my trouble!

But did clearance from the peri last week mean that I ran out and did it that night or any night since? Hell no...back to my fear that it could cause something to go awry. I'm terrified to think that a simple bump against my cervix could bring on spotting. Am I nuts in thinking his way? What do you think I should do?--'cause I gotta tell ya, that sure felt good last night.

11 Comments:

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Cammie Delph said...

Hey there. I went through the EXACT same thing with my pregnancy. I was on bedrest for half of my pregnancy and was told not to have sex. If my hubby was on edge, we did it, but not very hard. Just enough for him to get something out of it. We had to rely a LOT on hand jobs and what not. He was suffering more than I. I didn't want to jeapordize the baby in any way, shape or form! They told me I wouldn't carry past 28 weeks, but woudn't ya know it, I carried all the way to 38 weeks, in which they had to enduce me because I was preeclampytic. Good luck!

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger Toni said...

If it makes you feel any better - those night fun times are NORMAL. Medically - has something to do with increased bloodflow down there.

As for the act...I've been holding out as well. And with my daughter, I think I can count on one hand how many times I gave in - the last being the night before she was born (forced HIM that time!).

Here's my assvice. If it makes you feel better NOT to - then don't. Amazing thing about men - they can usually get by with other - things... :)

However, if you want to - then get all the approvals you want...and then have fun :)

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger lobster girl said...

That happened to me too recently! Twice in one night! To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Hub. and I also haven't done it since conception. In part because my sleep orgasm made me cramp up so bad, that it scared me into thinking orgams aren't good for me. That much cramping can't be right ... right?

Anyway, you're not alone in all this. The desperate husband, the sleep orgasms, feeling nervous about sex. I say, do whatever feels right for you and the little one. Husbands can take of themselves for a while if they have to.

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay Dee- I warn you, this is going to be way TMI!!!

A couple months ago, I also started waking up from orgasms that were so strong they were giving me cramps. I also wasn't having sex with DH. Poor guy.

Anyways, he finally made enough attempts that I got sick of saying no, because I really wanted to, but on one condition; he can't put it in all the way. So we do it once in a while only going in about 3 inches and that way it doesn't touch the cervix. Proof of this is I had spotting from pushing too hard on constipation- that's how friable my cervix is, yet I've never spotted once after sex. So if you can get your hubby to try that (mine was so desperate at this point he would have taken one inch if it was all I'd allow LOL oh I feel so bad).

 
At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oops forgot to sign - LILY

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger Jen P said...

As you know, the firt time we had sex again, spotting. Now, granted, it was mild, it was only once, and it went away, I don't know if I can do it again for a very long time. At least not until the next scan

I think perhaps it was from trying to be on top and hitting the cervix so maybe some shallow penetration would be ok?

As for the orgasms!!! Where's mine!? I've been mildly O-some but nothing super great. Share!!

Hope things are going great!

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger Jenn said...

Even before I started upon this TTC-stuff-- I would occassionally dream of having an orgasm or wake up in the middle of one. This is certaintly not a commentary on our sex life--it's just me. However, I will NOT let my husband near me. We were told to avoid "sexual intercouse and pelvic activity for me". Both of us are suffering big time. But, as you know, we go back tomorrow to see the heartbeat, and even if we get clearance, I doubt I will have the courage to do it. Of course, I could be having fun for my husband's sake during all of this--but I figure if i can't benefit, nor shall he--isn't that terrible of me?

 
At 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the progesterone. I got a couple dreamer-doozies when I was on the PIO's. Well, enjoy it while you got it, sister!
Hugs,
Jen/VintageUterus

 
At 11:00 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Wait! Why have I not experienced this wonder? I've had some nice, vivid sex dreams, sure, but I'm 100% sure I haven't made it *that* far. Maybe it's because my husband and I ARE having sex?! I am almost tempted to stop it and find out.

But as for you and sex, I don't think you should do it unless you're 100% comfortable with the idea. If you're not, you're probably not going to enjoy it as much as your dream anyway, right? Soon I bet you'll get to the point where you just want to do it badly enough that you'll feel like you can trust your doctor's advice . . . and then go for it!

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

The worst thing about being so scared about sex during pregnancy is that (before miscarriages) pregnancy sex was some of the best I'd ever had.

BTW, thank you so much for stopping by my blog and offering your support. It means so much that y'all are her for me.

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger lwteacher said...

Let me tell you that R and I didn't do the deed since conception until last week, and it was a disaster. Well, for him, I'm sure it was all good, but for me, my thighs hurt for two days from being so tense and making sure that he *ahem* didn't go too far! So, wait until you are ready.

I just read your last post too, about itching. Holy crap! I thought I was the only one who wanted to rip the skin off their body!!! It wakes me up every single night it's so bad. My shins, my love handles, and my nipples are the biggest offending places. Egads!! I even wake R up because I scratch so hard. I am using Gold Bond, and it helps some, but I have to keep reapplying it so I smell like a gigantic menthol cough drop. But. I am glad that I am not the only one who was paranoid about some funky disorder too. :)

Erin

 

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