/ The RE's Muse: Whaddya think? Vote now!

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Whaddya think? Vote now!

Ladies--I have a small, yet interesting, dilemma on my hands today that I'd like your feedback on. Yesterday, I noticed an increase in cooter discharge, of the 'normal' garden-type variety. Earlier today, I noticed a ton of normal discharge--we're talking (TMI) a four-inch swath of moisture gracing my hot pink cotton bikini panties! WTF?!? (But, I digress, that's not what I want your feedback on.)

While I don't typically ovulate on my own every month, some months the ole' body surprises me and does what it should (most recently in June when CD21 progesterone test showed I had done it w/o meds). This could again be one of those months.... If I'm doing my math correctly (mind you, I was an English major), I am presently 20 days post D&C. From what I've read here and there in my quest for mc info, one can theoretically ovulate anywhere from 2 + weeks onward after a miscarriage/D&C. So, all of this discharge may, in fact (or fiction), be me ovulating or somewhere close to it. Hmmm....and I'm feeling slightly horny which is a bit out of character for me on a day-to-day basis.

So my dilemma is this: do I go home tonight and take an unprotected romp with the husband with gleeful abandon and possibly cover our bases if I am ovulating soon/ovulated recently?

After all these years of trying, I've been conditioned to make sure we do it at my (HAHAHA) most fertile times...oh wait, I guess I don't really have many of those that don't involve meds and monitoring. Okay, here and there I do but it's not exactly like clockwork. But I still feel like I should be trying even now.

And, for the record, I don't magically think that getting pregnant again will make the reality of my mc any less or make it go away. It happened and will always be a part of me. Getting pg again (if I'm so lucky) would not replace what we lost, nor would it help me get over it any quicker. But it would feel so good to know that joy...and when you get right down to it in all its stripped glory, that hope. That 'what if we actually did it this month (and without medical intervention to top this month off) and it worked.'

Adding fuel to the fire is that I've also read that getting pg (not that I expect this to happen 'cause that's not exactly how my life works) too soon after a mc isn't good for one physically but then I've read other things that say it's okay if one was to conceive soon after miscarrying, that it just makes calculating the due date a little tricky. There are a lot of other pros and cons; I'm a fairly well-educated gal so I'm pretty comfortable with the reality of them all but...infertility has made me question everything I thought I knew anyway so why not this as well?

FYI, as I've mentioned previously, tomorrow is the follow-up with our RE and we hopefully will know where we're going next. He only told us no intercourse for two weeks after the D&C, he never said anything about it being protected or otherwise.

But, for right now--today, I just want to know if you think I should get freaky with hubby 'just in case' or if I should 'just say no.' Whaddya you suggest? I know which way I'm leaning but your votes count...majority rules. But damn, there is that horny thing rearing it's head again even though I know there are other 'ways' of scratching that itch besides slapping bods. I'll be checking back in later today to tally your votes and figure out if hubby's getting lucky tonight or not so VOTE NOW--polls close at 9 p.m. EDT!

Hope's got me in her trigger sight today...and she's asking if I feel lucky, punk, well do I?


At 4:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, I have no clue as to what you should do. Although, horniness would definitely sway me towards having sex.

At 5:02 PM, Blogger Pazel said...

i think if you in the mood, you should. Not just babymaking sex, but reclaiming sex for fun and intimacy.

At 5:12 PM, Blogger amanda said...

I really don't have a clue what the correct vote would be on this one. But what was that "horny thing" you were referring to? Don't know if I'm familiar with that one :)

Seriously, I'd take advantage, in one way or another. Don't want all that horniness to go to waste, now do we?

At 6:25 PM, Blogger chris said...

I've had this happen after a D and C as well, and it's so tempting to just go ahead and give it a try, but I would wait. Your body is trying to heal right now and you don't want to do anything to stop that. Plus, after a d and c, your lining probably isn't that great anyway. Having said that, back when I was posting in babycenter land (back in the optimistic days when I could handle copious amounts of babydust being thrown my way) a woman on my thread got pg right after a d and c. Still, there's a reason they make you wait.

Sorry about your miscarriage. It just sucks.

At 6:54 PM, Blogger Toni said...

Personally, I'd do it. A lot :) But it's a hard call.

At 6:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hard to say because I did not have a d&c for my miscarriage, so my body healed differently.

But I'm always up for if you're in the mood, then go for it.


At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had 4 D&C's and I've always waited. I agree with Chris, there could be a lining issue and that could cause another m/c. Possible short term gain, long term pain. Just my .02, since you asked.

the middle way

At 8:34 PM, Blogger Jen P said...

The d&c I had was to remove growths, so I know I healed differently but it was 'safe' for us to have intercourse 4 weeks after my d&c. (I had a LOT removed).

Personally, having never been pg or had a loss, I don't know how good my advice is but I would have the sex. Not just procreative sex. Hot, hot sex. Go for Gold. There's a part of you that is mourning and a part of you that is still trying. I think you've got to meet it somewhere in the middle and just have womanly horny sex.

And if you get pg, I'm sure your body will know how to cope.

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

I say go for it and have fun while you at it!


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