/ The RE's Muse: Time to FISH and salute Tom Petty

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Monday, January 31, 2005

Time to FISH and salute Tom Petty

Today's a.m. appt with the genetic counselor went off without a hitch. Of course, she was largely doom and gloom, but both A and I understand that her job revolves around percentages and numbers, etc. We were firm in our decision to go with the level 2 ultrasound today and see where we went from there. I asked her if we could do the FISH test to get the results and she said we couldn't, that they only did that in cases where the timeframe was cutting it close for the patient to make a decision to terminate if the results came back abnormal. And being as we still have a few weeks before that timeframe yada yada yada....

Fast forward 4 hours to the 1 p.m. appt--where we then waited 2 hours and 20 minutes before being called in. Before your ire rises for us for that, know that one other couple was there an hour longer than we were. But we understand that emergencies come up when you're a high-risk pregnancy specialist so what could we do but wait (unlike the other couple, in which the male of the pair was indignant). C'est la vie buddy.

So--the level 2. In we went (me with a painfully full bladder may I add) and the sonographer did her thing. Measured numerous things, none of which I could see because the screen was turned away from me. But A got to watch--not that he really knew what all he was looking at but he made out a few things here and there.

After much tinkering, the sonographer tells me that she's really not seeing all of the structural things she needs to see (like the kidneys, etc.)--and not because there's something wrong with the baby. No, she can't see them because I am 17w3d today and this ultrasound should be done between 18 and 19 weeks optimally. She said that those few days growth time make a world of difference. So before she started thinking that I impatiently booked my level 2 for several days ahead of 18w, I explained to her that this appt was made for me by the nurse/receptionist and I just followed their protocol. She was cool with that and went on to say that she'd like to see me next week or the following week for the level 2 and she'd get better visuals then. And that would still give us time to do the amnio if we decided, and time for a decision should we need to make one post-amnio. But from what I read of the measurements she took, I am measuring slightly ahead at 17w5d overall (when all measurements are averaged out). The head, however is measuring slightly behind at 16w3d (but is in the 62nd percentile for growth while, according to my SIL, microcephaly is usually indicated in the 10th-20th percentile so I don't think we're measuring positively for that trisomy 18 soft marker--which is a good thing). At the same time, the sonographer didn't look for any soft markers as we had hoped for so there went that thought on our part. It was strictly a structural scan (but the tech did say that if she had to guess--since it's still kind of early and the scan wasn't the best--she thinks it's a girl).

She left the room to get the doctor and A and I conferred. Well, we're here, we've come this far. Why not just do the amnio and get definite confirmation? I told A to make the decision for me, that I was fine with whatever he thought best. And he thought we should do it. So when the gal came back in the room to tell us the doctor would be in shortly, we told her our decision.

One signed consent form and a betadine wash of the belly later, in came the doctor. They scanned out a location via ultrasound and in went the needle (which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, a stick then a short burst of discomfort when she went through the uterine wall and some pressure when the fluid was removed but not too bad all in all), out went the fluid. And, yes, I cried quiet tears. For my fear, for my anxiety, for my baby, for what we could stand to lose.

But bless the good doctor. Immediately after she drained the fluid, she said, "You know, let's FISH this. You don't need the stress and I don't want you to live with that so let's FISH it." (So take that, genetic counselor!!) I thanked her--in fact, I actually said she was an angel among doctors. Because honestly, the anxiety level would likely have amped up to near record levels. So, now we wait to get the FISH results. They should be in in the next two days or so, or by the end of the week at the very latest, they told me. How I hope the results are completely normal because right now, I can't even think of the next step if they're not.

So come along with me my friends and wile away the time...and in the spirit of those who've gone before me in this wait (off the top of my head, i.e., Jodi at The Crooked Cervix)...can you maybe create a diversion for me? Something to make the next few days go by? You know, tell me corny jokes, embarrassing tales, or send great recipes, links to entertaining web sites or any other general info you think would help me pass the time. I'd be ever so grateful--and would hope to one day return the favor should you ever need it....

Tom really knew what he was talking about when he said the waiting is the hardest part...sheer genius (and one of Florida's own).


At 9:14 PM, Blogger Janet said...

I have to go pick up the imp from school, but I will try and think of some things to distract you. At the very least I can tell you all of her horrible made up jokes.

I am with you hun, in mind and spirit and hoping for the best possible outcome. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming and ignore the possibility of sharks in the water.

I'll be back with lousy distractions.
Lots of love,

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Jen P said...

So glad to hear the scan went more better than bad. I can't believe a few days could make so much difference! So I'll be waiting here with you, also looking for distractions, and hoping those results get here quick.

G-d bless your doctor. What an absolutely amazing person. Come on FISH...get here quick!

At 9:49 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Here are some jokes (courtesy of my mil...warning, some are sick and twisted)...hope they provide a bit of distraction)...

Dear Diary,

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around and around! Just because I'm a blonde does not mean I'm automatically stupid. So I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year - that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other
end of the line, so I just hung up. I have not heard anything back. Guess I won that stupid argument.


A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace the retiring country doctor. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach. "The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How did you arrive at your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick. "Huh," the younger doctor said, "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps. "As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost
certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just as you did at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."



This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink.

He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time,"says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs.

"I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener.

So I came to this bar and was thinking about putting an end to my life, and then you show up and drank the damn poison.


If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this Cop.

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony
trial. It went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties ?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

Ready for this? ......

A. You see sir, we share the building with the entire court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's best comeback line and we think he'll win.




"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul "

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul "

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

*Brief Pause*

"Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"

"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy"

"And what happened honey?" he asked

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul ?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He
was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??"... Is this 486 -5731 ??


Did I read that sign right?

In an office:


In a Laundromat:


In a London department store:


In an office:


In an office:


Outside a secondhand shop:


Notice in health food shop window:


Spotted in a safari park:


Seen during a conference:


Notice in a farmer's field:


On a repair shop door:


At 10:36 PM, Blogger amanda said...

My brain isn't functioning well enough at the moment to think up anything cool to distract you, but I wanted you to know that my fingers and toes are crossed for you. I'm so glad that you'll be able to get your results within the week. Thinking of you.

At 11:55 PM, Blogger Day said...

Thinking really good thoughts for you, and hope that FISH comes back clean and quick.

At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can think is, I can't wait to find out the gender!!! And also, I'm pissed off because I'm the same freakin day as you pregnancy wise and my Level II is today- I wonder if they're going to tell me the same thing.
Ok, here's some good links, just browse around them and laugh or be shocked;







that should keep you busy for a while. By the way, I would have had the amnio too. Don't ever feel guilty about that- you're trying to do what's best for your baby. Just stay off your feet as much as you can and everything will be ok.


At 9:41 AM, Blogger Soper said...

I only know jokes about cows, and they are really, really lame.

Here are my two favorite websites:


Keeping my fingers crossed....

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Pazel said...

I'm kind of surprised the genetic counselor gave you issues with the FISH, when at my peri's office they would do it as long as I would pay if my insurance didn't.

And your doctor rocks. Now take it easy, rest, rest, rest. Matt and I joked that my protective layer of fat would seal the injection spot, just like roofing tar.

Now for some humor...

Dumb Florida Laws
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do a pirate and a blonde have in common?

A black patch.

Sorry, that's all I've got.

Thinking good thoughts.

Middle Way

At 6:53 PM, Blogger E. said...

I've got nothin'. However, I'm just leaving a note to wish you a speedy FISH result!

At 8:15 PM, Blogger chris said...

Oh, and he also says "even the losers, get lucky sometimes." Not that you're a loser, but you know what I mean. Hope you do get very lucky.

Take care.

At 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dee - I can't think of a single funny or smart thing to say. I am just out here waiting with you, thinking very hard of you, A and your little one.
A warm, warm hug,

At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of you, hoping and praying and refreshing your page like mad.

- getupgrrl


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