/ The RE's Muse: My tax dollars hard at work

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

My tax dollars hard at work

The fun has yet to end, friends.

Today I got a call from DCF telling me that, because of the unknown nature of D's head injury, they would like to see J in their office later this week for an evaluation. You know, check her over for bruises, contusions, and the like...'cause we're all about the child beating 'round these parts.

Sorry if my bitterness is coming through but this bullshit has gone on long enough. I feel dirty, like someone out there thinks we actually could have done this to D. Like A was saying to me earlier today, what sucks is that because our society is so judgmental, someone in the system probably thinks we did this. This is so offensive to me on so many levels, mostly personal ones.

Talk about a waste of time and taxpayers' dollars. There are tons of children in my county (and around the nation/world) who are being genuinely abused and they go unnoticed, uninvestigated, unknown. Here we are, with two children who are so NOT abused, but because of the unknown factor, we're made to feel like bad guys.

The good news is that, once they "evaluate" J, they'll see that she's fine, no marks, no abuse, nada. Just lots of love, kisses, and one happy 31-month old girl, to go with the happy almost-1-year old little sister they've already seen.

The other good news is that D had her opthalmology consult yesterday and the doctor pronounced her "clean as a whistle" meaning that she has no optical evidence of 'shaken baby syndrome.' Score one more tick for mom and dad in the NOT GUILTY category.

In the meantime, I sit and worry, with a bad taste for the system in my mouth--for the ridiculousnous of it all, for the unspoken blame, for the way we're being made to feel.

16 Comments:

At 3:03 PM, Blogger Eva said...

I am very sorry. I know that must be extremely frustrating and demoralizing. Hopefully it will all be over soon.

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger WriterGrrl said...

Oh my GOSH! I go a few days without reading blogs and this happens? Holy crap. Dee, I almost think you should just show the DCFS people your blog. They need to understand the craziness of the allegations.

Keeping your whole family in my thoughts, and keeping good thoughts for all of you.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Kether said...

I do not understand how the system works. My friend's sister had six kids and the legitimate abuse of those children went reported and reported and nothing happened until the youngest was beaten to death by her father, who is still not in jail. My friend started fostering these kids and suddenly the social workers considered her punishments like sending them to their room to stare facing the wall --was abuse. Where is tha balance? Since I learned all of that, and have followed their experience I have lost faith in the system that is supposed to protect children...
I hope this ends soon. I so understand the idea of feeling dirty. I cannot imagine how you are dealing with this.
Thank goodness they're seeing J soon. That will prove that you're a good mother.

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger Cat, Galloping said...

i'm so sorry. it's awful.

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger BrooklynGirl said...

You've truly been through the looking glass. Here's hoping you find the way out soon.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

so hoping that this is over for you soon.

 
At 10:45 PM, Anonymous Menita said...

Unbelievable! I am so sorry you guys are going through this. Can't you just give the DCF people your URL? I'm only half kidding.
Oh, I hurt for you. I am so sorry.

 
At 9:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My cousin works for DCFS, and tells me they are understaffed and underpaid. The stress is so high the average time someone works there is 5 years, so they are constantly training new people. She works best with teenagers, but has to work with all situations rather than the ones she is best with. The system is a mess, and families are paying for it. I'm sorry this has happened to you, and will keep you in my prayers.

Jill

 
At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Day said...

I can't believe this is happening to you - you, of all people. You're all in my thoughts and I hope this is over SOON.

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Nessa said...

I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. Please know that you are in my prayers.

 
At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Leggy/Clover said...

What a mess. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope it gets resolved soon. But I'm glad to hear your little girl is better- the seizure/ER/PICU experience must have shaved 10 years off your life!!!

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger winecat said...

Wow, that seriously sucks! We had tenants a while ago that were seriously abusing their youngest and the County basically stood by and let it happen. And good people like you are drug through the ringer WTF?

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Heather said...

I keep checking back hoping to see a "case closed" post. Thinking of you all.

 
At 2:16 PM, Anonymous Meira said...

I am so sorry this is happening.

I've been through a DCFS investigation, twice actually, but as the charge was neglect as opposed to abuse, it wasn't quite this thorough. If it comforts you to read about other's experiences, it's all under the 'relations' category on my blog (password protected posts will reveal with woolenmittens). The thing that kept driving me nuts was the knowledge that while I was innocent, that didn't guarantee me anything-- there are innocent people on death row, in Gitmo. It's just a scary, crappy experience, and I'm sorry you're experiencing it.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger Toffee said...

Hopefully you can put this all behind you soon. Thinking about you and wishing for better times.

 
At 9:48 AM, Anonymous Day said...

Just checking in again, hoping all is okay.

 

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