Back to zero

So yesterday I had a beta. Nope, not 'cause I thought I was preggers. Simply to make sure that my body knew I was no longer preggers--and you know what? It did. Hooray me!

Of course, I did have to tell the nurse doing the blood draw that if some behind-the-scenes lab monkey called me with the results and prefaced it with "I'm so sorry, you're not pg" I was going to laugh maniacly/scream/cry/curl up in the fetal position (how appropos) because, um, yeah...no shit sherlock. She made careful note of the fact that the beta was a post-D&C so that said lab monkey would not be on the receiving end of my potential breakdown. Bless her heart. Happy to report that the message got through, loud and clear. Houston, your beta is negative.

So with that behind me, bright and early next Wednesday morning (CD13) Dr. Rub will graciously inject my ute full of saline to check it for any rocky outcroppings, a la Pike's Peak, while I ride the dildocam at the same time. Whoo-hoo--hold on tight, it's gonna be a fun ride! I had this done once before, with the previously unmentioned Dr. Insulin in Atlanta and--ack, my g-d, the pain, the grossness, the dribble/gush factor, the embarrassment (yeah, I know, need to get over that one), and the completely normal results. So now we do it again...to make sure there's nothing left in there (hello? anyone for some spelunking?) and that the ol' lining looks normal before starting stims again with my next AF. Bring it on, I say!

The nurse who scheduled the SIS (saline infusion sonogram in case you're not familiar with that one; I knew it previously as SHG, sonohysterogram) made me promise not to get pregnant before it's done. Hahahaha...whew boy, that was a good one. Had to pick myself up off the floor there before I told her that wasn't likely to happen without medical intervention. She said 'you'd be surprised..." Heehehe, there she goes again, cutting up, what a card. She really should consider taking her schtick on the road.

For the record, this will be the 5th time in 6 months (!) that Dr. Rub has his face in my cooter--and I mean, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, plying her with tools and gadgets galore. Seems like he's seeing it more than my husband is these days...and that is one sorry state of affairs.