/ The RE's Muse: The.rapist

The RE's Muse

After 4 years of infertility, 2 surgeries, 1 miscarriage, and 19 months of high risk pregnancies, hubby and I now have two little women in our lives--one a toddler, the other not far behind. Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride.

Sunday, March 04, 2007


Why, yes, really, I'm fine, thanks.

Okay, so maybe not so much. Yesterday saw me undertake my initial "getting to know you" appointment with a therapist (henceforth known as "the rapist"--it's how I've long referred to therapists since A) I'm a geek, and; B) the moniker is sometimes accurate given how you feel after leaving a particularly productive appointment).

Nice rapist lady did agree that I've been through/am going through a lot recently. Can I tell you how good it felt to get it all out, every last bit of it, to cry for all I was worth, to just unload? (Yeah, but I still had more in me when I went to my monthly hair appointment--gotta keep the grays at bay--and my stylist asked about Daniela. She hadn't seen me since about 4 days before my induction so she didn't know what all had gone down. )

And you know you've got "the crazy"* down pat when nice rapist lady tells you that the OB should be able to "give you something" to help you get through this and come out intact on the other side. Why hello PPD and whatever else (PTSD?), nice to meet you.

So, my appointment with the OB this Friday will find me being honest...and taking the hand that has been offered to me, hopefully along with a script for mother's little helper.

May the meds kick in quickly (though, like all good things, it takes time. And yes, I've been on A-Ds before...I had a run-in with clinical depression about 6 years back; P-zac worked wonders for me).

*I kid, I kid. I don't think I'm 'crazy' (not technically, that is).


At 3:37 AM, Anonymous Coral said...

Oh, I do feel sorry for you!

Things will start looking up really soon.

D is fine, the family is fine, this is just a reaction to all the 'not fine' that has happened recently.

Thinking of you

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Heather said...

So glad you've got someone to talk to and just to help you sort everything out. You've been through a LOT these past couple of months. With her help, and maybe a little medicinal help too, I bet it won't be long before you start feeling like your old self again.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger Mae Midwest said...

Yesss! Good girl! So proud of you for getting the help you needed.

At 3:42 AM, Blogger Matt, Jen and Sophie said...

Dee, I'm sorry I haven't seen this post earlier. Having been through PTSD and PPD from child illness I have a wealth of knowledge and experience if you'd like to unload. I've been there, I'm still there and I hope you do email.

At 7:39 AM, Anonymous Frances said...

You go girl - let it out, get some meds, and before you know it, you'll be feeling your old self again. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hoping you're feeling sunnier soon.

At 10:26 AM, Blogger lagiulia said...

Good for you for dragging your derriere through that therapist's door. You're an inspiration, you know. I'm really glad you found someone to talk to. I hope it works out well and that gradually you start to feel better, little by little (well, a big, fast leap to feeling better wouldn't be bad either, but I guess it doesn't work like that usually). My love to you and your family. Your

At 7:00 AM, Blogger lagiulia said...

Hi Dee. Just saying hi and thanks for commenting on my blog recently. You're the best. I hope you're doing okay. Thinking of you.


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